Farewell from the Mountain. 02/21

One of the hardest conversations I've ever had was with you. It was in the moment of realizing you were never coming home again. The way…

One of the hardest conversations I've ever had was with you. It was in the moment of realizing you were never coming home again. The way you looked at me. The way you refused to look at me….. You used to call me by no other name you used to call me your rock your fortress your mountain to scream triumph from on high.

Now we can barely speak. Distant memories and heartbreak like thick fog streams rolling from top of hills of grief. How…. Why….. Why does it still have me sinking deeper beneath? Yeah, she barely looks at me.

I hope I don't talk in my sleep… I've been medicating the nightmares away for a few years now. Making sure I smile when I wake. Happy cause I can't remember except on those days….. Those days like rushing waves memories flood the back seat of my interior designed suite and I can’t help but sit here and weep…. Weep… weep

But put the smile on. Act as if nothing’s wrong. Because you have a kingdom to run a land to rule and a people to lead. But GOD DAMN IT. She can’t even …