To my S(u)N
So I’m having a kid.
To my S(u)N 05/24
So I’m having a kid.
Children are the greatest wisdom on this planet. The greatest teachers and the greatest of students. I would venture to say even I shall forget one day what is was to be a child.
I find that rather daunting. Disturbing truly.
Rather scary. There is a fear of losing a part of myself I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on so tightly to. I didn’t realize I was afraid to let go of the youth beating along to his own drum.
Becoming a father.
Or is it in manhood that this is demolished?
I come to question the reconciliación of Boy and Man. Of Child and parent, I come seeking an answer is there a balance here to be had? Is there a balance for the world to consider? Or must I tip the scales to one side? For all my might all my conviction is there nothing left for me save this road?
Pity, grief, sorrow, pain
They say your life will never be the same. They say it has ended. That in the process of your creation you no longer have the pleasure of living for you.
Yet parts of me singing this to be the ultimate in existence. You no longer have the pleasure of living life for you. Your privilege to be ever in service ever in guidance. Knowing how little I know this is terrifying. Knowing I still have much to learn is terrifying.knowing there is still much to build is terrifying. But more so than anything. Knowing I have nothing left save what I am and who I will become. That that is a thought that is comforting somehow. That my life no longer has just my external consequence.
Taste of the king’s cup surely this must be it. Just a sip a day in hopes I might be worthy of the crown I claim. To embody the extremes but to embody them in service to an ideal greater than me. Not because survival. But because children will do as you do. They will conquer world’s if given chance and tools. But these tools. They must come from within. If I have nothing left to offer nothing I have gained over my short life it is this one gift. The knowing
A king is still a king even in peasants clothes.